Attempting recovery from anorexia nervosa.

Instagram: @redlipsandbruisedhips

You've got your fingers snared in my veins.

I know that I'll never be content, no matter how small the number gets. I'm never good enough to meet my own expectations.

In all honesty, there isn't much to say about myself. My thoughts, my mind, the way I work, it's all wrong. I'm sick so the doctors say, I don't believe them. I live off messy, messy thoughts. These thoughts I have no control over. Distorted visions and false illustions of beauty. I am consumed by something much greater than myself.

INTAKE / WHAT I EAT / PERSONAL / MYSELF

Sometimes I get so caught up in my own problems that I forget how amazing the world is.
by Wendelin Van Draanen, Runaway (via
naturalrecovery)

(Source: larmoyante, via naturalrecovery)

You can’t starve yourself indefinitely. Either you start to eat because your body and mind just can’t take it any more, someone else forces you to eat, or you die. It’s not a self-sustaining system.

Yet the alternative somehow seems worse. As torturous as the eating disorder is, life somehow feels worse. Life is messy. And painful. The eating disorder, while painful in its own way, is neat. It has a type of “payoff.” Starving made me feel better. Life… didn’t. I was good at an eating disorder but I sucked at life. I couldn’t quite figure it out.
by Carrie Arnold,
ED Bites  (via nowtoknowitinmymemory)

(via mwanzotena)


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cofftea:

untitled by gg.ranee on Flickr.

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If only I could.
If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions. But we can’t know better until knowing better is useless.
by John Green, Looking for Alaska  (via
anditslove)

(Source: bookmania, via purelybiotic)


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Bon Iver, I love you.

This photo isn’t very clear, but anyhow. I wrote out one of my favourite quotes “I don’t have time for sadness, I’m too full of tea”. I put it on my bedside table so it’s the first thing I see when I wake up of a morning. I’ve decided that once a week I’m going to change the quote, each week it will be a quote that makes me smile.

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Anonymous: have you ever weighed under 85lbs?

Not that this even matters, but yes, I have. 

I’m only answering this because I’ve never answered any weight related asks before. 


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greentearhicovery:

choose recovery, choose to be alive, choose to feel, choose to be who you are <3
Anonymous: what is your worst habit? what do you look like?

My worst habit would have to be smoking, and constantly apologising for things. There’s lots, but that’s all I can think of for the moment. 

Well, I’m a 5’4 girl with a shaved head and stretched ears. I’m very pale. I’m not sure what else to say. 

Normally I enjoy being alone of a night time, but for some odd reason, tonight I’m incredibly lonely and I’d love for someone to give me a hug and tell me everything is going to be okay.

(Source: redlipsandbruisedhips)